The Hit List

Oyster bars in Lake County are dispersing their shucked shells to the Coastal Conservation Commission so they can be used to restore oyster beds. When it comes to protecting coastal water resources, this kind act will certainly turn the tide.

Tavares City Council members denied a couple’s request to make a change in city code and allow residents to own pet pigs. If Hollywood wants to make a movie regarding this ruling, I can think of an appropriate title: “Silence of the Hams.”

Lake County Animal Shelter workers had the monumental task of rescuing 50 cats found inside an Astatula home. Fifty cats in one home? You’ve got to be kitten me!

Two masked men entered a Steak ’n Shake in Clermont and demanded money. Personally, I would’ve demanded milkshakes instead. After all, the vanilla shake there is legen-dairy.

A Eustis city commissioner publicly urged other towns and counties throughout the country to donate Confederate monuments to the city of Eustis. Good move, Mr. Commissioner. You must know the removal of these statues certainly will change American history, eradicate poverty and homelessness, end world hunger, and bring about world peace.

A Lake County man who owns a laptop repair business was recently burglarized for the second time in less than three weeks. Let’s put our heads together and figure out how we can stop thieves from stealing computers. It’s time to take a byte out of this ridiculous crime.

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