James Combs’ The Hit List

  1. This Honest Food, a holistic teaching kitchen, will open this month in Clermont. The company provides individual and group cooking lessons, as well as holistic seminars and healthy cooking boot camps. If I’m being honest, here’s what my meal plan would look like on the first day I attempted to eat healthy food. 9am: protein shake and oatmeal. Noon: chicken breast and asparagus. 5pm: grilled salmon and organic tomatoes. 9:30pm: two large and greasy “I-don’t-give-a-crap-anymore” pizzas.
  2. Here’s an interesting fact: More than 1.78 million Floridians have a concealed-weapon license. That number will startle some because they feel guns kill people. If that’s the case, can I blame my spoon for being obese?
  3. A man known as “Minneola’s Superhero” was arrested after breaking into a woman’s car and attempting to pull her pants down. He’s considered a superhero because he dresses like Superman and waves at cars passing by. If he continues doing things like this, however, people will assume the “S” on his cape stands for stupid.
  4. Some moron tied a quail’s legs to a block and left it under a tree near Florida Hospital Waterman. Fortunately, Tavares police officers were able to free the bird. It’s nice to hear heartwarming stories like this. I’m glad the police officers took the quail under their wings.
  5. Lake County commissioners voted to ban medical marijuana shops. Hasn’t anyone told our elected officials that a joint a day keeps the doctor away?

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