- After a bartender asked a 52-year-old woman to turn off her e-cigarette inside a Villages restaurant, the woman became enraged and fought the bartender. Surprisingly, she was arrested on charges of disorderly intoxication rather than aggravated vape.
- A custodian at Tavares High School was charged with slipping poison into the drink of a female coworker. This is one janitor who needs to clean up his act.
- A 28-year-old man was arrested after he ran across four lanes of traffic in Lady Lake and exposed his genitals to drivers. He also flashed a uniformed deputy, leading to his arrest. This fellow will be the “butt” of jokes for many years to come. Hopefully he can put this “behind” him and keep his junk in the trunk.
- Nine people were arrested after sneaking drugs such as marijuana, Xanax, and Suboxone into the Lake County Detention Center. I guess smuggling drugs into jail takes a “joint” effort.
- Because his wife hid the television remote control from him, a 69-year-old Summerfield man assaulted her and was charged with battery. Dude, try rekindling some romance in your marriage. It’s more important to turn on your wife than the television!
- A homeless woman broke into a Leesburg shed to cook meth. Deputies arrived and were forced to use a Taser gun when the woman became aggressive. A song just formed in my head:
“If there’s something strange, going on in your shed.
Who you gonna call? Methbusters!
If there’s someone weird, who’s messed up in the head.
Who you gonna call? Methbusters!”